What's happening on Planet:Maffydoo?

I don't really know... After many months, I seem to have lost the bug, my blogging muse is no longer speaking to me, I have hit a wall, I have plateau'd, I have blogger's block.

What has changed to make this happen? I have no idea. I suspect a lot of bloggers go through this but because Planet:Maffydoo and Vanishing Maffydoo is the only meaningful (to me...) presence I have on this big old interweb, I'm not packing it in or anything drastic like that.

I still like my blogs and I'm positive I still enjoy writing stuff for them. I've learned a lot about web design, Javascript and HTML and I found myself trawling the web for interesting stuff and learned a lot from that. I've also found some classic stuff which made me laugh and all of the stuff is on here because I liked it and wanted to share it.

I guess what I really want to say is that Planet:Maffydoo is not dead, not by a long way.

In the words of the governor of California, "I'll be back!"

Blow Chunks and Spicy Brains

Hello gentle reader (notice the singular is used...) I have some more loverly linkies for your wonder and delight.

:: This poor woman is sick on live radio... Listen to it before you eat ;)

:: Oh no! You co-worker's heads have exploded and they're after a chew on your spicy brains! It's Crunch Time!

:: Stupid People + Video Camera = THIS! Can you say Jackass....?

Bins, a Spitfire and Kitty

:: I'm sorry, I keep finding weird stuff. This is a message board for people who rummage through other peoples bins. Erm... oookaaaay

:: Close pass by a Spitfire... Very close. Contains a very English chap swearing lots.

:: It's a Virtual Kitty. Yay!

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the leaf of Assam that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Yesterday, for some reason, people at work were confusing me with someone who actually gave a shit... That's right... I had a right "Monday" on. All I wanted to do was get through the day and not have to speak to anyone in case I happened to bite their heads off but they kept trying. One individual in particular thought it was vitally important that I check out his ultra hilarious Jabber avatar of a Terminator... and he wouldn't let it lie either. He survived with minor lacerations.

Anyway, it's Tuesday now. Have some linkies... go on, treat yourself.

:: This game is totally hatstand but very soothing. Give Grow a go.

:: Star Wars on DVD? YAY!

:: Did you know: That there is an International Association of People Who Dine Over The Kitchen Sink (IAOPWDOTKS)? Now in it's 13th year!

:: I'm not playing X2 anymore but I am playing Eve. The slack blogging may continue for a while. Sorry about that ;)

Green Crisps

I got an email with stuff on it that made me chuckle. I'm sure we've all had them in our in-box before but I thought I would share it with you.

:: Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
:: At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
:: One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.
:: You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
:: Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
:: Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
:: Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
:: You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
:: Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
:: You never know where to look when eating a banana.
:: Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
:: Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
:: Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
:: You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
:: Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
:: The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
:: The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
:: Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
:: Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
:: Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
:: Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
:: Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
:: You never ever run out of salt.
:: Old ladies can eat more than you think.
:: You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
:: There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
:: No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
:: Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
:: The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
:: People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
:: You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
:: Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
:: Bricks are horrible to carry.
:: In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
:: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Slack Blogging and A Gerbil

Sorry for not blogging anything here for a while. I'm still alive but I'm engrossed in a game called "X2: The Threat" and jolly good it is too!

One other thing, if anyone smokes, STOP! Not for the health reason or the financial reason but simply for the fact the I have been having some fantastic dreams since stopping and they are really vivid! I had one that involved a cheetah, a gerbil and sliding down banisters with them and the one I had last night was about a game show that my subconscious seems to have invented. I have never been able to remember dreams for more than a few moments after I wake up but I can remember the current batch as if I only just woke up. Unfortunately, none of them have been rude... yet ;)

And... the new series of 24 starts tonight. WOOHOO!

Reverse Blot Test

I know that in the past I have said that I'm bored of all these on-line tests but this one is really odd. It's one of those Blot tests but in reverse. I'll let you know what I get when I'm at home. The questions I saw were really interesting.

EDIT- I've taken the test. Apparently I'm "Sad Ambivalent Optimistic". I'm not convinced but I like the colour. Anyway, World... meet my blot.

Warning

If you haven't seen Vanishing Maffydoo yet, you may not have heard the news that I've stopped smoking. Apologies in advance for any random outbursts and expect strange posts as I flip out.

Lucky me... I'm Possessed

Well, it turns out that I have two spirits with me at all times. How nice for me...

It all began last week. We have a temp in who to all intents and purposes is slightly unhinged (pot-kettle-black etc.) Bless her heart, she tries her best to fit in with me and the rest of the team but she is trying so so hard that it gets a bit embarrassing for her. So, she ambles up to me and says, "Matt, this may sound a bit weird and don't freak out but you have two spirits standing behind you. I'm very sensitive to this sort of thing." I reply with my usual "How nice for you" and promptly freaked out. Over the past few days, I've noticed her looking at me and it's not... quite... right. I, naturally, tell a couple of people and it's all over the company before you can say "Chinese whisper."

Today, she reveled in front of everyone that one of them wears a uniform and has a moutache but she can't figure out the other one because they're shy. EEP!

Now I enjoy reading fiction about magic and sorcery and dragons and ghosts but unless it's scientifically proven, my opinion is that it may be possible but DEFINITELY not probable so I tend to dimes stuff like this. I suppose it's because I think about things too much and have too little blind faith in strangeness.

Still, I think I need to give them a name and some sort of identity. Suggestions welcome.

Yay for Titties and Twirling Gussets

Having a crisis? Been dumped? Trouble at work or school? Jaw click when you chew? Daddy or chips? Babs and Belle will sort you right out. DEAR TITTIES has arrived.

There is no doubt that the problem pages of the national press have been in turmoil since the "Dear Deidre Dingbat Doobage Debacle." (This may or may not be true) Dear Titties is next evolution of Agony Aunterie and has been nominated for a multitude of awards including "Anusol's best use of Century Gothic in a pink blog" and "Blunt Instrument International's best use of the word 'Titties' in a website with no pictures of titties." (This also may or may not be true.) High praise indeed.

So email your woes in and let Babs and Belle strip your problems naked, smack them upside the head and send them packing, leaving you frolicking with glee.

In other news... I fell over twice today and have a big hole in my hand. It took me four seconds to fall over the first time and my entire street saw me. I swore quite a lot. I saw the funny side after my homicidal rage subsided to its normal level. Nobody saw me fall over the second time but if they had they would have been perplexed to hear me utter "not again" on my way down before I swore lots again. Hooray for twirling gussets and ice. That is all.

EDIT- Lawks! Look at this. Russian Roulette for the kiddies. Top idea. I've heard a rumour that they may release a version with hollow-point hippo feet for extra splatter.

IT'S SNOWED!

Yay! I took a few pictures of my garden and my street and threw a few snowballs. I went in the local supermarket on my way home from work. It's normally about 3 minutes drive from my place. It wasn't snowing when I went in and when I came out it was white. It took me 30 minutes to get home. Going up and down hills is 'fun' in a rear-wheel-drive mid-engined motor...








I think I'll be calling in to work and saying I'm snowed in. I live in a cul-de-sac at the bottom of a small but steep hill. If it's slippy now, wait until a freezing night passes...

Gonga

Jay and I went to The Joiners in Southampton to see Hooker, Red 5 and Gonga play. I'd never been there before and I wish I'd known about it 12 years ago. It's a pub with a stage out back. It seems to be a respected venue for up and coming bands and they had posters of previous band who had played there including the likes of Coldplay, Oasis, Reef, Cooper Temple Cause and Kills.

First band was Hooker. (Hint: Don't type that into Google like I just did...) Pretty good sounds, very entertaining and they looked like they were having fun. I'm going to have to find out more about this lot because I was pretty impressed.

Next was Red 5. They looked rather thrown together. The Lead Singer looked like a student. The Bassist and the Drummer looked like they had just come home from working in an accounts department. The Lead Guitarist was in the wrong band totally with his long rocker barnet, rock tats and naked from the waist up. Couldn't find a website for them so I don't know what they're like in the studio but I wasn't overly impressed by their performance. (I actually feel a little guilty saying that because I respect anyone with the balls to go stage like that)

Last was Gonga. All kneel at the temple of Black Sabbath! Top Heavy Metal Guitar Action! They were good but I think they were having an off day which is a shame. I've had a listen to some of their stuff since and really liked what I heard. I get the feeling that they would be a lot better in a bigger room.

One last thing.... Jay, GET THE HEATER IN YOUR CAR FIXED! Brrrrrr...

Huh? A Network Called 'Internet'

:: Huh? They do stuff and sometimes they do certain things... but most of the time they just do stuff.

:: An interesting little snippet for you... This is a TV clip of a Canadian news programme talking about this new thing emerging called 'Internet'. There are as many as 15 million people using it. It's 1993.

:: Ever wondered what the average colour of the Interweb is? No? Me neither. But here it is. Rather disapointing, don't you think? In disgust, I've made this section pink.

10 PRINT "MAFFYDOO"

I made this for 4rthur. The font didn't display properly in Photoshop so I used Word and hacked it about. For those who don't know, this is a line of Basic from the good old ZX Spectrum. Ahhhh... those were the days. And I'm chuffed that Munkton used it :)