Monday, July 26, 2004

Kitten Delirium

I have the bloody bastard bloody lurgee of bloody doom and I'm taking medicine that will make my wee smell funny because of it.

I find kittens therapeutic so here's one. I find photoshopping kittens therapeutic so I may have to add a hat or a moustache or something at a later date.

Look... I'm delirious... OKAY! I demand sympathy!

Tuesday, July 20, 2004


This is REALLY odd....

Right... There's this old Somalian fella, his name's Ahmed. You might have heard of him. He recently lost in some obscure game show that I know a few of you are watching. I believe it's called Big Brother. Anyhow, this year the focus was on the fact that this particular edition of the game show was going to "evil". So, they didn't pick the usual normal, "mentally sturdy" (for want of a better word) types. They picked a few total loons and chief among them was that chap I mentioned up there... Ahmed. His sole purpose upon entering the game show was to go mental and wind the others up. Well, he went mental and the others got wound up. He tried a military coup for fuck's sake! Cuckoo!

You don't believe me? Okay, cop a listen of this! I reckon he's lost it... Fame WILL destroy this man. Ciao!

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Ten Random MP3s

Found this at Dearie Me and decided to give it a whirl. Instructions are as follows...
Step 1: Open your mp3 player/music application.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: List the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.
I only have 231 tracks to play with. These are tunes that I acquired on an impulse or was sent. I haven't got around to converting my CD collection so I should get some weird and interesting results.
McLusky - Lightsaber Cocksucking Blues
Nothing deep and meaningful here. Had to get this tune after seeing this... it still makes me laugh.
Armand Van Helden - You Don't Even Know Me
A decent dance tune that I can tolerate more than most. Suffers from being played to death on the radio.
Texas - Put Your Arms Around Me
What is THIS doing here? Still... Charlene Spiteri... I would.
The Beatles - Hey Jude
The best tune The Beatles ever did. Possibly the best tune ever. Makes me feel good. 
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime
I think this came out while I was at school. Reminds me of a girl I used to know.
Napalm Death - You Suffer
Very shouty. Unfeasibly short. Makes me laugh.
Soul II Soul - Back To Life
Cor! Another old one! I think I was living in Wimbledon when this came out.
Embrace - All You Good Good People
Woo! Yay! It's an awesome tune that is just epic and it reminds me of my best "Glastonbury Moment". I'm pretty sure it was 2000 and definitely on the Sunday. I was sat in front of the Pyramid Stage with Jay and Andy, amazing chilled out, pissed up and off my face on something obscenely herbal. I wasn't really paying too much attention to Embrace on stage. The sun was setting behind the stage and I was in the shade when they started playing this tune (probably the finale). The crowd started singing along. Halfway through the tune, the sun shone on me from between the stage and the big screen to the right of the stage and at that precise moment, I just became hyper aware. The sight of the sun behind the Pyramid and the crowd full of every type of person from Ravers to Hippies. The sound of this tune and me, my friends and the crowd singing it. The smell of the earth, the people(!) and the herbage. The taste of the dust. The feeling of the grass under me and the vibrations of the tune. An unbelievable sense of well-being and contentment just washed over me. Despite being trashed, I remember it like it was yesterday. COOL. AS. FUCK.
Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground
Choo-oon. The vocal makes me feel funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class... 
Lalo Schifrin - Theme From Enter The Dragon
Oh Yeah! You know what I'm talking about! This tune IS the movie. The movie IS awesome! Bruce Lee is The Daddy!
So there you have it. I'm happy with that. And nobody knows I have "Boom Shake The Room" by Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince on my hard drive so, all in all, REEEESULT....

Friday, July 16, 2004

Fear the Mongolian Death Worm!!!

I have just found out that there is such a thing as a Mongolian Death Worm! Fantastic! Yeah, we all know about the Loch Ness Monster and the Abominable Snowman but they ALL pale into insignificance in front of the terror that is the Mongolian Death Worm. This horror of the Gobi desert is really real and not some twat in a fluffy white suit or a dinosaur shaped log...

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Zombie Maffydoo

I think there's only 2 or 3 active blogs left on my blogosphere linkys!

What did I do.... fart or something? Is there some spinach on my teeth? Are my flies undone?

Question is, is an undead blog like mine better or worse than no blog at all?

EDIT: Ooo... inspiration! New guest title image...
EDIT2: Image gone. It scared the kiddies. I'm using Blogrolling now so I'll be able to link a lot more easily. Now, no slacking you lot! I want content! And do as I say, not as I do!

Friday, July 09, 2004