Sunday, December 28, 2003

My Preciousss

(Possible Spoilers)

My last post reminded me that I haven't commented on The Return Of The King which I saw before Christmas. What a film! Someone asked me which was my favorite. I don't think you pick one because, like the books, they are one piece of work and each is that much better when you consider the whole trilogy.

Peter Jackson must have seen the books like I did because the films are so close to how I imagined the characters and the locations. I think the casting is one the best things about the films. Each actor seems to be made for the character. Could you imagine Mel Gibson as Aragorn or Julia Roberts as Galadriel? No, me either. My favorite bit of casting is definitely Christopher Lee as Saruman. He is just so bloody EVIL!

My favorite character in the films is Gollum despite the fact that he is purely CGI (remember J*r-J*r B*nks?). He is so tragic and, if you haven't read the books, this third film explains a lot. His monologues where he is Sméagol and Gollum are great. His best line from the films is from The Two Towers.

"Master... master looks after us... Master wouldn't hurt us.
Master broke his promise!
Don't ask Smeagol! Poor, poor Smeagol...
Massster betrayed us! Wicked! Tricksy! False! We ought to wring his filthy little neck! Kill him! Kill him! Kill them both! Then we take the precious, then we be the master!
But, the fat hobbit... he knows! He's always watching!
Then we stabs them out! Put out his eyeses and make him crawl!
Kill them both!
Yes! No! No, too risky! It's too risky!
We could let... her do it. Yesss... she could do it. Yess, precious, she could. Then we takes it once they're dead. Once they're dead..."

There is also Shelob... ARRRGH! She is a massive spider that live in the cave Frodo, Sam and Gollum use to get to Mordor. I was having real trouble watching that. She is based on New Zealand Black Tunnelweb Spider. There is one scene where Frodo is walking along and you can see that the Shelob is stalking him. The fact that she was TOTALLY silent while creeping up on him is straight out of my worst nightmares!

I'm not going to talk about the story. Just go and see the film... NOW!

I saw a funny quote from Quentin Tarantino in Empire magazine. "This CGI bullshit is the death knell of cinema. If I'd wanted that computer game bullshit, I'd have stuck my dick in a Nintendo." I understand where he is coming from but with films like The Lord Of The Rings (hopeless optimist here?), the death rattle is going to be awfully long.

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