Hot Coffee

This is bollocks. A Band Wagon at it's worst. For those who don't know, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is being banned for shipping with code included that shows a sex scene. This removed from the game but the code was still in the program. A modder managed to find and unlock it.

A patch to unlock the blurring of nudity THAT IS PART OF THE ORIGINAL CODE for the good wholesome fun that is The Sims and The Sims 2 has been available for bleeding ages! You don't see the major stores in America pulling that from their shelves now DO you? It's a "teen" rated title in case you were wondering...

I get the feeling that people here in the UK generally see it for exactly what it is.

Anyway, seeing poorly rendered, pixelated, fully clothed computer characters dry humping really honestly makes me want to climb the nearest tall building and shoot people. AND COVER THE LEGS ON THAT TABLE WHILE YOUR AT IT OR I MAY GET URGES. FILTH I tell you!

Actually, a particularly cynical part of me thinks it was shipped like that to cause exactly this kind of controversy. Now, twice as many people have heard of GTA: San Andreas. A marketing master stroke.

sock

:: SOCK
:: Celine Dion covers Michael Jackson's Bad. WRONG!

Dustin Hoffman Syndrome

There's this website that I got severe Dustin Hoffman syndrome on. It is BugMeNot and it circumvents all the free registration crap that a lot of websites, especially newspapers, seem to want you to do. It's dead useful.

I also tried this fun exercise. I made a 12 track mix CD from my internal jukebox. No CD collection, no MP3s, no interweb. One is a little artificial because I had "River Deep Mountain High" infecting my brain after a conversation with a cow-orker and demanded a random tune title/artist from a mate on MSN.

Supergrass - Richard III
Garbage - Only Happy When It Rains
Metallica - Fuel
Megadeth - Sweating Bullets
Foo fighters - I'll Stick Around
Wildhearts - Everlone
Muse - New Born (I was actually thinking of Plug In Baby but got the title wrong)
Ash - Orpheus
Inspiral Carpets - I Want You
Kula Shaker - Hey Dude (courtesy of Jay)
Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Snoop Dogg – What’s my Name

I have no idea what it says about me but I do know that as soon as I got home (did this while bored at work...) and looked at my CDs, my choices instantly changed.

By the way, Dustin Hoffman syndrome refers to an incident many years ago, before IMDB, when myself and a friend were trying to remember who played that bloke in the film with the thingy (vagueness intended). I swear it was about 18 months before we remembered... it was Dustin Hoffman! I wonder if there's a proper medical term for that?

EDIT: Blimey... Two posts in less than a week!

EDIT: EDIT: What's with me and this EDIT thing? If I didn't do it, there would be five posts in less than a week.

EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: Meh... who's counting?

Good Riddance

I'm still alive... honest. I saw Green Day in Milton Keynes on Sunday and they were absolutely awesome. In the words of the lead singer of Taking Back Sunday, "They rock so hard that you're gonna have your ass handed to you!" This is actually true. And there is something very appropriate and very satisfying about an utterly triumphant underdog singing "American Idiot" in the most soulless pseudo-American suburban sprawl in the United Kingdom. They are my favourite band for the foreseeable future... which probably means until straight after the Reading Festival :)

Have some links to celebrate the fact that I'm still here...

:: Bugger me it's hot! And why is air conditioning so flipping expensive? It's not anymore! If your a tightwad... make your own.
:: Strange smiling girl!
:: Kitten War! Yaaaaay!
:: Virtual Bubblewrap. Manic mode is the way to go! Must have moooooore!

EDIT: For some strange reason, spending half an hour blogging any old drivel has cheered me up no end.

Go Dan!

Dan Wheldon has won the Indy 500! It was the best race I've seen all year. At the end there were four drivers who could have taken it and our Dan ended up on top. There was a woman leading the race with 10 laps left which is great. Kudos to Danica Patrick who showed most of the field how to race. The coverage from America was such that you would have thought that Danica had won... that's the Americans for you. You can rely on them to devalue any achievement by a non-American.

Also, I'm waiting to see what sort of coverage his win will get over here. I'll be surprised if anyone will be aware of what he has achieved. The Indy 500 may not be the absolute pinnacle of motorsport but in my opinion, its the best spectacle in motorsport so far this year.

It's a shame I made such a negative post from such a truly positive event so I'll finish with a...

YAAAAY! DAN WON!!!

Half Time Monster Trucks

The whole Manchester United, Malcolm Glazer thing is very interesting, especially from my point of view being a Wimbledon fan. This is a pretty good stab at an impartial view of what is occurring.

Unfortunately, football, especially at the top level, is no longer about the love of the game but the love of money! Wimbledon was an extreme case of this and had its league position stolen for a property deal. How extreme, only time will tell. Pete Winkleman wants to make money from a stadium in Milton Keynes in a deal with Asda and he is using the MK Dons simply as a sweetener in the deal. I started typing out a history of the events (AGAIN!) but I will simply direct you here if you want to read about the facts.

My opinion is that Manchester United is too big a club to be properly shafted by this. I honestly can't see them moving to the Lake District as a franchise or anything that drastic. They already make tons of money. What will happen is that ticket prices will rise, merchandise prices will rise, they won't have as much to spend on players and the Manchester United name will be thrown at anything that will make a buck. I have heard rumours that there may be a Manchester United online casino in the pipeline (I read it on the internet so it MUST be true...). There's also nothing stopping him selling off the players, selling Old Trafford and redeveloping the land... The truth is Manchester United sold its soul to money years ago when it was floated on the stock exchange and the inevitability of these events was pretty much assured back then.

There is talk of fans setting up an alternative club. AFC Wimbledon has been referred to repeatedly. 20,000 fans are pretty much assured in such a venture and Ole Gunnar Solskaer would allegedly be the manager. No doubt such and entity would blast through the lower leagues in very little time but in the end, it would be doomed to mediocrity and struggling in the Championship or League one at best and inferior to Manchester City. How many United fans do you think will turn their backs on players such as Rooney, Van Nistelrooy and Keane? United fans ultimately have to choose mediocrity or Glazer... give it a few months and they will choose Glazer.

A bit of perspective is needed. All that's happened is a change of ownership. And be careful what you wish for. I seem to remember not so long ago United fans screaming for McManus and Magnier to sell their shares in Manchester United. Well, they have done. That's one problem solved. One thing is certain, this is not over by a loooooong way.

For the greater good of FOOTBALL and the REAL supporters, I SINCERELY hope it all works out okay. But, I would also like to add that for every TRUE fan of Manchester United, there are 50 ARROGANT TOSSPOT GLORYHUNTERS who will no doubt be supporting Chelsea next season. Manchester United's fortunes are based on them as CONSUMERS and not SUPPORTERS. They are what I DETEST about Manchester United and I would like see it all go to SHIT at Old Trafford to SPITE them. Good Luck...

ASTERIX!
That is all...

Windmill windmill, for the land
Turn forever, hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sticking, falling down
Love forever, love is free
Let's turn forever, you and me!
Windmill windmill, for the land
Is everybody in?

This is the best thing I've heard in ages. Shame I'll be sick of it by the time the album's out on May 23rd (which looks like it'll be awesome...) I may isolate myself from the radio and the music channels until then...

edit: I thought I'd got away with it but it's the new fucking iPod ad. Buggery Bollocking slimy marketing fuckers! Can't they leave a decent tune alone... /sobs

Taller than Brad Pitt

I'm taller than Brad Pitt. That automatically makes me a complete and total stud-muffin. I'm also 4 inches taller then Adolf Hitler. What a short arse!

:: Tall or not?

Bored

Well, it was all set up to be an excellent career move. It's a company that makes plenty of money and is full of really intelligent and talented people all working towards the same goal. Problem is... I'm bored out of my skull!

At the last place I worked, a QUIET day would involve about 100 emails, one argument with the warehouse, ten confrontations with various sales people, I talked to suppliers all day and it was not just about work because I had got to know them and some were actually cool people. I was busy all day and you could tell because you would wonder where the time went.

Now, I would get two emails and talk to two people IN TOTAL. Bit of a contrast.

One thing is interesting though. People are often heard to say "Time goes SOOOO quick, I don't know where the year has gone!" I've figured it out finally. They're not bored... The last month feels like a YEAR! I'm BORED! BORED! BORED! If I knew for sure they didn't check, this blog would probably be bursting with updates. Unfortunately, the IT manager is a muppet so I can't risk it.

When I told someone at work, they said "At least you're getting paid for it." For some reason, that doesn't really work for me. I'll give it another month and see what they come up with.

Best Lineup Ever

Tickets for the Reading Festival have sold out already! Festivals are going to be BIG this year...

This is not a bad thing like it was last year because I got the tickets already and there's no need for ANY of us to panic and have to get ripped off by muppets on Ebay...

I wasn't going to go. I didn't really feel like it... until I started hearing the rumours. Furtive whispers in the darkest corners of the interweb were saying Iron Maiden were going to be there. And it's TRUE! The total MASTERS of true British Heavy Metal are going to play the Reading Festival! I'm not really that excited... no...

The Foo Fighters are appearing too. They are one of my favorite bands and I've never managed to get to see them in the entire ten years they've been going. I've always had the feeling that they'll split before I see them live. Still five months to go. Look on the bright side, they may simply cancel :)

Pixies, The Killers, Queens of the Stone Age, Kings of Leon, Razorlight, The Charlatans, Marilyn Manson and (drum roll) Iggy and the Stooges are going to be there too. IGGY! YAY!

Best festival lineup ever? Could be. And there's still another 100 or so bands to be announced...

:: This is so wrong that I really have nothing to say...
:: Break the internet!!!
:: F-A-C-T! Anyone who knows me knows I'm full of shit like this :)

Hoffs

Jeez... I've really become crap at this blogging lark. Anyone reading this must be REALLY bored. It goes like this... I think of something to write, start writing it, think "would I want to read that?", and most of the time it's "No!". I'm looking at the delete key now...

Well, I'll try and break out of it soon and just so there IS a point to this post, I give you... erm... Susannah Hoffs! Woohoo!

Twelve-change-of-underwear Trip

I remember when you could get a 40Mb hard drive for your Amiga and that was considered HUGE! I just got an extra 512Mb of RAM for my system and it cost less than £20.
</geek nostalgia>

In other news, I start my new job tomorrow. It's going to be a twelve-change-of-underwear trip... I can feel it.

Sumo

Just so you all know, I'm really rushed off my feet at work at the moment. With three days left before my redundancy, I thought I should show exactly how busy I am by sharing this link. Toilets for fat people! Crikey! I also found out that some Sumo Wrestlers are so big that they have to get helpers to hold thier buttocks apart while they curl one out.

This all links in quite nicely to the fact that I have been on a diet for the last few weeks and I broke through a stone of weight loss. A lot more of my clothes fit and it's pretty good going but it's a tad rapid. At least all the stress of redundancy and impending unemployment is going to some good use.

And while I'm on about unemployment, here's a great flash film about an orange former daytime talk show host. I find that funniest thing about him is that he's not even good enough for the UKIP. (go on, click that one too...)