Urs Meier is a Twat!

WE WUZ ROBBED!!!

Okay, so Urs Meier disallowing Sol Campbell's header on the line for fouling John Terry put us out of Euro 2004. But, Portugal were a better team and probably deserved to go through. They managed to keep the pressure up and we sat back and defended but we defended well. I can't believe Helder Postiga scored! He has been nothing but crap for Spurs and I was praying that karma would prevail and he would miss his penalty.

Wayne Rooney's injury was not that critical in my opinion. Yes he is an awesome player and has shone in this tournament but England is more than one player and the tabloids would do well to remember that this morning.

David Beckham is a shadow of his former self. I don't know what's wrong with him but he looks ill and he seems to have lost the spirit that he had in the qualifiers.

Ashley Cole managed to contain Cristiano Ronaldo and has had an awesome tournament as has Sol Campbell, NONE SHALL PASS!!!

Meh, I could go on. Just read the linky. The fact is we lost and we're going home. Euro 2004 is over now. I don't give a fuck about it. The Anthrax is in the post to Urs Meier. Wimbledon is on all next week so all I have to say, in my best menopausal squeal "Come on Tim"

Pod!

Deacon took me, Fetus and Chris to Santa Pod. We saw lots of cool Japanese cars and it rained lots. Deacon threw the Pulsar down the quarter mile.

PICCYS HERE

I turned over to E4 this morning after New Zealand bowled us out in the cricket. As you may know, two housemates have been put in a bedsit to spy on the Big Brother house.

The producers of Big Brother must be rolling around on the floor laughing. I can tell you that there is something VERY wrong with watching two people watching Big Brother.

Tantrums and Nakedness

Big Brother is TWISTED! I am yet to be convinced that Big Brother is Evil.

I'm sure some of the house mates are clutching at the threads of sanity. They appear to have been picked to cause each other the maximum amount of grief and have arguments. There are some real weirdoes. Emma is has the memory span of a goldfish, Marco is so camp it's not even funny, Nadia was a man once, Ahmed is unstable, etc. etc.

This year is different to previous years. By this time in the last Big Brother series, there are definite contenders and definite no-hopers. I can't see a clear winner yet.

Tonight, instead of the eviction, two of them were secretly stuck in a bedsit to spy on the others and "work for Big Brother". I can't wait for them to hear the others bitching. I wonder if they'll get to see the Diary Room. A funny thing is that I reckon the housemates will be scared to nominate Ahmed this week because they think he survived a vote with two "heavyweights" (Victor's word). It's all so fucked up...

More has happened in the last two weeks than in the entire last series. The dynamics of the group is great and I get the feeling that they could change in the blink of an eye. There is also tantrums and nakedness to keep the tabloids happy.

I haven't commented up until now because I wasn't too sure after the yawn-a-thon of Big Brother IV. This year, Big Brother is fantastic.

[images shamelessly stolen from here]

:: Awesome image of the Shuttle's vapourtrail
:: Screw the Euro, there is now a Galactic Currency.
:: Is your popup blocker up to scratch? Try this Popup Test
:: Die screaming with sharp things in your head
:: I wonder how this happened... Accidental condom inhalation
:: So Where the Hell is Hyperspace?
:: Hold The Button

Pravda and Mossad

Never buy cheap UPS units. We had a feeble one on our server at work and I think we are talking lunched hard drives and melted processors.

These are some links I found while I have been 'busy'

:: According to Pravda.ru, CIA and KGB were fighting for alien's dead body. (There's a lot of cool stuff here)
:: Check out Stupid Movie Physics. Every movie you've ever watched is wrong but you knew that already.
:: Micro$oft wins "Double-Click" patent row!!! WTF?
:: Anyone want to join Mossad, the Israeli Secret Service? Just fill in this application form here.

Burnout and Brain Jars

Well, the server here at work has self destructed so I thought I'd cruise on by here and do stuff.

The problem is I've got nothing to say... still suffering from burnout. It's not just blogging but I'm suffering burnout in a lot of things at the moment. I'm not going to say any more because my blog is read by people I know and more scarily by relatives. Many times recently (I can think of at least four since my last post) I have started a post and deleted it thinking "I don't want my mum to read that" or "my mate will be really pissed off at that". Oh well.

I saw the Transition of Venus first hand and it was well nice. I still had my eclipse shades from the 1999 total solar eclipse. They warn you not to use them but I can report that my retinas survived intact. The next one is in 2012 and that is it until the 22nd century. Blimey, I'll be a brain in a jar by then. The cosmic ballet goes on :)

Do you ever have those days where it feels like all the little mistakes you've made come back to haunt you through people - and you just know that one day they're gonna get together and collectively realise that your an idiot...

If you do, don't worry. I've come to realise people* don't remember my cock-ups as much as I do.

(*people does not include relatives)

The Planet:Maffydoo word of the day: MINGE

It comes from the old Anglo-Saxon word "MAENGES" which means a gap in the hedge.

Khhhaaaaannnnn!

It is the epitome of William Shatner in the film that is the best thing about Star Trek. For the uninitiated, there is a scene in "Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan" that has claimed a place in Sci-Fi history. The main baddy Khan (Ricardo Monteblan complete with fake chest) has marooned Kirk and his buddies in the centre of a big rock and is sat in orbit feeling quite smug and is mocking him on the communicator.

Kirk: Khan. Khan, you've got Genesis, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me Khan. You're going to have to come down here. You're going to have to come down here!
Khan: I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her. Marooned for all eternity, in the centre of a dead planet. Buried alive. Buried alive.
Kirk: KHHHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!

I'm not sure on the spelling but that's how it goes off on screen. Ultimate melodramatic Shatner camp acting.

Actually, the original purpose of the post was to link to this which made me laugh like an idiot when I saw it. I digressed a bit. Enjoy.

EDIT: This was in the b3ta newsletter and it looks like the extra visitors broke it...

EDIT2: You have GOT to be joking...

Soap Dodger

I'm going to The Reading Festival. Yay!

Mars and Venus and all that bobbins

No, this isn't another of my wierd astronomical posts. One of the guys at work emailed this funny little story to me. I'm not even going to pretend to underdstand all that "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" bobbins (probably why I'm so terminally single... hehe) but I feel it summed it up quite well and it appealed to the twisted part of me a lot.

-----

I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I've never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their hearts. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion started to heat up, and she eventually said "I don't feel like it; I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not enough in touch with my emotional needs as a woman for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear; let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??!!!"

I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not enough in touch with my financial needs as a man, for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell.

Hey Hey 16k

:: I went all gooey and nostalgic when I watched this. Pure genius.

:: Have a read of The Man Who Fell Asleep. In fact, I challenge you not to! I wasted far too much time at work today on this site. It's funny in an "oh..." sort of way...

She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart

You will ALL share my pain. Praise be to the Lord Phil of Collins for I am told he is good on drums....

(I'm glad to get THAT out of my head.)

This is a better view on the "Blogging Lifecycle" simply for the fact that it appears to be closer to my current situation.

Edit: I know I'm being pretty negative and boring at the moment but I'm exploring this and trying to figure out where my commitment and motivation went.

Edit 2: At least I'm posting again...