Other People's Birthdays

Other people who I share my birthday with are-

• Nero Claudius Augustus Germanicus 5th emperor of Rome and complete nutter was born today in 37 AD.
  
• Actress Helen Slater (SuperGirl) is 40.
  
• Movie director Reginald Hudlin (House Party.... eep!) is 42.
  
• Country singer Doug Phelps (Brother Phelps; Kentucky Headhunters... who?) is 43.
  
• Rock musician Paul Simonon (The Clash... yay!) is 48.
  
• Movie director Alex Cox (rings a bell somewhere) is 49.
  
• Actor Don Johnson is 54.
  
• Rock musician Carmine Appice (Vanilla Fudge) is 57.
  
• Rock musician Dave Clark (The Dave Clark Five) is 61.
  
• Singer Cindy Birdsong (The Supremes) is 64.
  
• Actor-comedian Tim Conway (who?) is 70.
  
• Country singer Ernest Ashworth (who?) is 75.

It's My Birthday

I've been on this strange little planet for 31 whole years now. Yay for me! I suppose I should have a crisis or something but I still feel the same as I did when I was 16... everyone else seems to be having the crisis for me.

And thanks for all the pressies everyone.

Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake

Ingredients:
1 cup water
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
Lemon Juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle of Vodka
1 can of Red Bull
2 cups dried fruit

Method:
1. Sample the vodka to check the quality.
2. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
3. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with
a little red bull and drink.
4. Repeat.
5. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.
6. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
7. At this point its is best to make sure the vodka is still ok.
8. Flavour with red bull to taste.
9. Try another cup - just in case turn off the mixerer.
10. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit.
11. Pick fruit off floor
12. Mix on the turner.
13. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
drewscriver.
14. Shample the vodka to check for tonsisticitity, flavour with a little
Bed Rull.
15. Next ssiffft two cups of salt. Or something ... Who giveshz a shi**
16. Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder
17. Pick up the can, mop the floor
18. Check the vodka
19. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
20. Add one table.
21. Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
22. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over..
23. Don't forget to beat off the turner
24. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick
the dog.
25. Fall into bed.

CHERRY MISTMAS

A quiet word about your mobile phone...

Musical Epiphany

I reckon everyone has at least one. Some people have a few and some have many.

My first musical epiphany was "Even Flow" by Pearl Jam. I was going to say "Alive" but it was "Even Flow" that really woke me up and opened the door to many other top tunes. It's a great piece of grunge that has fine lyrics and a tune that is only just this side of uplifting and it made a lot of sense to me as an ugly and misunderstood teenager. Ten was also the first album I bought. The first single I bought was "Walk Like An Egyptian" by The Bangles (I think) but I only got that becasue I fancied Susanna Hoffs, the lead singer. No epiphany there I'm (not) sorry to say.

An interesting one for me is "Come Back Brighter" by Reef. With hindsight, it's not the best tune by a LONG way but it came out at exactly the right time in my life and caused a 'moment of clarity' that got me through some bad shit. It's often the timing and not the quality if you get my drift.

My most recent epiphany is "Harmonic Generator" by The Datsuns. First heard it at the Reading Festival this year and it's energy blew me away and it's still firmly entrenched in the stereo.

So, let me know what yours are.

[imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and this idea is mercilessly copied from a visitor.]

The Darkness Are The Kings of Rawk!

It is true that they have the unique retro cock-rock "gimmick" going on. It is also true that they have released a genuinely classic album with great rock tunes. BUT... You will never truly understand what The Darkness is all about until you have seen them live. And that is 100% of FACT!

Compared to their set at Reading 2003, it wasn't anywhere near as good. There wasn't the audience participation and I felt at a couple of points that they were just going through the motions. I didn't get as good a vibe but I reckon that has a hell of a lot to do with the audience which had a lot of people who looked well out of place. On the other side of the coin, this is a good thing for The Darkness because as well as confirmed gig goers and festival crustys like me and my mates, they have attracted the main stream fans. It may also have something to do with the fact that I was quite drunk. But, average Darkness is still fantastic.

I did get right down the front and was on the barrier for the last half of the gig and that was awesome. I rarely get starstruck but having the Darkness belt out "Love On The Rocks" from two meters away was cool as fuck and made the experience all the more memorable! It was not conducive to the survival of my eyebrows either because the pyros were rather hot at times...

I don't actually remember what tunes they did, but they finished with their cheese-tastic Christmas single "Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bell's End)" and a shower of glitter.

At the end of the gig, Jay was absolutely distraught because he had lost his Soundgarden top. He was in a total panic as he loves that tatty old thing but, of course, Maffy found it and saved the day. I honestly thought he was going to cry with joy when I gave it back to him.

I have seen a couple of interviews since the gig and it seems the The Darkness are being stifled by their record company who want them to tour this album to death and squeeze every last drop out of it. I sincerely hope that they are strong enough to fight this and get on with another album as soon as possible because you can't survive on 10 songs and a couple of B-sides for long. I hope the fact that they are saying this is a positive thing.

Long Live The Darkness!

My Teeth Itch!

I have Man-flu again. Second time this year and I hadn't had Man-flu for at least two years before that. Curse the lot of you for infecting me!

If you are wondering, Man-flu is just a normal cold made worse through whingeing. Amy invented it.

I am doing my Darkness review right now. Sorry for the delay. I did one on Saturday but I deleted it before I posted it and couldn't be bothered to re-type it.

England's World Cup Qualifier Draw

We are in Group 6. The teams are:

England
Poland
Austria
Wales
Northern Ireland
Azerbaijan

Wow! Three home nations in one group. And Poland.... AGAIN! We seem to be inexorably linked to that nation in football. It's not a bad draw and the only teams that I can see giving us hassle are Poland and maybe Austria.

Weebl has made a new toon but I can't watch it because I'm at work. BOO! But I'm going to see The Darkness and I'm off home in 5 minutes so I don't care. YAY!

Edit: Just watched it... and WOO for this sort of thing! But there is a warning the comes with it: MAY CONTAIN BADGERS!

I'm off to see

on their Elf Hazard tour at the BIC tomorrow.
I will mostly getting off my face and rocking quite hugely.
I will let you all know how good it was on Friday
if my hangover is not too evil.
That is all.

Abul-Darda' Hashim al-Hajjaj

:: Yay! A website devoted to Leia's gold bikini in Return of the Jedi!

::My name in Arabic is apparently Abul-Darda' Hashim al-Hajjaj. Fancy that...

::Tons of groovy desktop images here.

:: A huge amount of polls to waste your time on.

:: Tropical parasite eats woman's brain.

:: Feel the power of the Sci-Fi geek! Farscape is back!

:: Fluffiness Overload Warning!!! A huge amount of kittens here. You'll probably recognise a lot of them but the fact that they're all in one place is awesome. Dial-uppers beware - very large page with lots of images

:: If you've overdosed on fluffiness, here's some stuff to bring you down. According to this report, there are 1,000 times too many humans on the planet. But that doesn't really matter because we'll be extinct by 2040 according to this report.

Tweakage Alert!

I've added a cool new feature for my title image. This is my first step into the murky waters of coding Javascript and I'm not sure how "tidy" it is. If you get any problems, please let me know.

Also, let me know if you get any pop-up banners. Check in Netscape and IE if you can. I have a sneaking suspicion that the new tagboard has them embedded... and we know what THAT means (edit... DELETE!!!)

EDIT: Tagboard DOES use evil pop-up banner advertising!!! It's one of my pet hates on t'internet and I can't have that on my site so it's gone. Sorry.

England have won the Rugby World Cup!

Australia 17-20 England
England won the Rugby World Cup with a breathtaking Jonny Wilkinson drop goal just 26 seconds from the end of a thrilling final in Sydney.

Millions watched around the world as captain Martin Johnson became the first player to lead a northern hemisphere side to the world title.

Wilkinson's last-gasp effort was all that separated the sides after 100 minutes of rugby and a dramatic extra-time finale.

Australia battled hard and were never out of the game but ultimately fell just short, despite opening the scoring through wing Lote Tuqiri.

The match represented the culmination of four impressive years of improvement from an England team that flattered to deceive in the last World Cup.

Then, Johnson and his cohorts were kicked out by South Africa and were rightly criticised for lacking a 'killer spirit'.

There were no such weaknesses on display on Saturday as England wrestled the cup away from an Aussie side who fought tooth and nail to become the first team to retain the trophy.

The Wallabies started strongly when Tuqiri out-jumped Jason Robinson to a huge Stephen Larkham bomb with just six minutes on the clock.

The score was no more than Australia deserved but three Wilkinson penalties soon silenced the strong home support.

Despite the rain continuing to fall, both sides chose to keep the ball in hand and as the game progressed, so the mighty England pack began to dominate.

With just 10 minutes of the first half left, Ben Kay knocked on with the line beckoning to the frustration of the visiting fans.

Minutes later, England finally silenced their critics when Robinson scuttled over wide on the left after a powerful midfield burst from Lawrence Dallaglio.

The men in white started the second half as they had finished the first.

Johnson led from the front with a towering performance and Dallaglio and flanker Richard Hill caused numerous problems down the middle of the pitch.

But just as England looked likely to pull away, two sloppy penalties allowed Elton Flatley to bring his side back within touching distance.

England looked the more confident side with the ball in hand - but only just.

Will Greenwood knocked on inside the Aussie 22 and Wilkinson then missed a drop goal as the match entered a tense closing quarter.

Runs from the powerful Stirling Mortlock and George Smith pushed England back into their own half.

And as referee Andre Watson prepared to blow for full time, Flatley slotted his third kick of the half to push the match into extra time.

The players looked understandably exhausted and when Wilkinson and Flatley again swapped penalties the match looked as if it was heading into sudden death.

But England were not to be denied and it was fitting that Wilkinson sealed a deserved victory as well as the most memorable result in English rugby history.
_______________________________________

Key Moments
::6 mins: Tuqiri's try puts Australia ahead
::38 mins: Robinson scores a try after three Wilkinson penalties to put England 14-5 ahead
::80 mins: The hosts haul themselves level with Flatley's last-gasp penalty
::82 mins: Wilkinson's penalty gives England an extra-time advantage
::97 mins: Flatley strikes again to equalise at 17-17
::100 mins: Wilkinson's drop goal wins England the World Cup
_______________________________________

Teams
::Australia: M Rogers, W Sailor, S Mortlock, E Flatley, L Tuqiri; S Larkham, G Gregan (capt); B Young, B Cannon, A Baxter; J Harrison, N Sharpe; G Smith, P Waugh, D Lyons.
::Replacements: J Paul, M Dunning, D Giffin, M Cockbain, C Whitaker, M Giteau, J Roff.

::England: J Lewsey, J Robinson, W Greenwood, M Tindall, B Cohen; J Wilkinson, M Dawson; T Woodman, S Thompson, P Vickery; M Johnson; (capt), B Kay; R Hill, N Back, L Dallaglio.
::Replacements: D West, J Leonard, M Corry, L Moody, K Bracken, M Catt, I Balshaw.
_______________________________________

[from BBCi]

Severe Tweakage Warning

Good evening passengers, this is your captain speaking. As you may or may not be aware, the Blog is about to encounter some severe tweakage and we may experience some turbulence. This is a common occurence at this altitude and there is no cause for alarm. Please remain in your seats and fasten your safety belts. Thank you for flying Planet:Maffydoo.

Maffy's day-off linkys

I've got today off work so to celebrate, here are some cool links I found over the last week.

::Boobies! Woo-Hoo!

::OUCH!

::Check out this Drift Challenge. (Warning: 18mb dowload, right click recommended)

::The moon landings... fake? Couldn't be. This article makes an awful lot of sense though...

::We knew stealing that music was wrong. Stealing is never OK. But, it was just too easy. Want to make it right again? The solution: Send Them Back!!

::Try out this self-hypnosis thingy. You'll be barking like a dog in NO time.

::Weird Trippy Artsy Japanese Stuff. Yay for this sort of thing!

::Dude barfs then gets thirsty. Top sound on this flashy thing. Reminds me of Jay's comedy pukage.

::Star Wars helmets! Woohoo! Collect them ALL!

::Here is a groovy Japanese game where you're a small circular thing with a mouth that wants to eat much bigger things, but only if they're happy. Big grumpy things are no good - they taste bad. And Angry things are downright poisonous.

That is all!